12 Signs You’re in a Rebound Relationship
Finding yourself in a rebound relationship supposedly spells doom for a budding romance. As popular opinion goes, rebounds reek of sadness and regret: One person has just gotten out of a long-term relationship, is likely still hurting from that breakup, and grabs onto another person to bury the pain. It’s not a great situation (though some research says that people who rebound may have better self-esteem than those who don’t).
And if you’re the reboundee, rather than the rebounder, you may be along for a confusing ride. Most people don’t just announce that they’re using you to rebound. Hell, they might not even realize that they’re rebounding. So how do you know if you’re in a rebound situation? We talked to four sex and relationship experts to determine 11 signs (or red flags) that your partner is rebounding with you.
If you read these signs and it sounds like your relationship, the most important thing you need to do is be very clear about what you’re looking for from the relationship, and then ask what your partner is looking for. “If you’re happy having a casual fling, then by all means, a rebound can be a lot of fun,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. “But if you’re looking for a relationship, it’s best for you to step away and let the person fully heal before starting something new with you.”
“This usually tells us that they haven’t done much reflection and lack some awareness,” says Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “They don’t need to divulge the whole story right off the bat, but it’s a good sign when someone can tell you why something didn’t work, take ownership for what is theirs, and acknowledge what may have been going on for the other person.” If the person you’re dating isn’t able to that, odds are they haven’t fully processed their last relationship, and they might still be “stuck” on their ex.